POST Oscar Parties by Elizabeth Snead

Anyone heading for the Elton John 14th annual Oscar bash — held in a huge tent outside the Pacific Design Center — was in for a rude shock. First, there was the usual limo-lock. But folks who hopped out of their cars to walk, hoping to beat the traffic, were held back from the main check-in desk and red carpet by burly security guards — even "NYPD Blue" actor Henry Simmons and "Entourage" star (and Nicky Hilton beau) Kevin Connolly had trouble.
Why the delay? Guards said guests had to wait because fire marshals had temporarily halted arrivals to the packed party, co-hosted by Chopard, Audi and VH1.

An irate Entertainment Weekly editor and Marilyn Heston, Hollywood’s hottest fashion rep, were detained for almost half an hour, even though other guests arriving in cars were being allowed to check in. Heston was frantically texting Lindsay Lohan on her Blackberry about what the star should wear to the other after-parties. Decisions, decisions!

Lindsay had been at Elton’s bash for a while and met the singer-philanthropist. But she left to go back to her hotel and change into another sexier frock, more suitable for the hot Vanity Fair action across the street. “I told her to wear something short,” said Heston. “It’s easier to dance on the tabletops in a short dress than a long one.”

But Lohan actually turned up wearing a long dress. Guess she doesn’t always listen to solid fashion advice. Or maybe she wasn't planning on dancing. Inside the tent: Elton, Donatella Versace, Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne, Pamela Andersonand her photog pal David LaChappelle, Mary J. Blige, Ben Stiller, Tori Spelling, Nicollette Sheridan and new/old beau Michael Bolton, Nicole Richie and Lisa Rinna. Elton played the piano, John Legend sang some songs, a good time was had by all inside and over $3 million was raised to help fight AIDS.

Paris Hilton, who definitely was on Elton's guest list, arrived in a bright blue gown with an attention-getting peacock feather train and beau Stavros Niarchos in tow. The cooing couple later left to try out the Us Weekly/Rolling Stone party inside the PDC. Paris and her entire entourage took the private elevator up to the third floor bash while sister Nicky, who was with Connolly, took the escalator. When asked how the Elton bash was, Nicky replied. “I don’t know. I didn’t stay long enough to find out."

So many parties, so little time...

Vanity Fair's A-list (ONLY) Party

Vanity Fair honcho Graydon Carter reportedly culled the Hollywood herd for the mag's 2006 post-Oscar bash at Morton’s. Chatting with Bill Maher, he told the political talk show host that Paris Hilton would definitely not be on the VF guest list this year. Apparently, he looked around his party last year and realized — Good Lord! — the place was lousy with reality TV stars! And the real movie stars didn’t want to be near them. Eww, small screen cooties!

So this year, the VF bash was an A-list only event with nominees and winners such as Dolly, Madonna, Joaquin, Terrence, Jake, Matt, Jamie Foxx, Philip, Reese and Ryan, Jennifer Aniston, Hilary Swank, Jerry Bruckheimer, Jay Leno, Keanu Reeves, Kirk Douglas, L’Wren Scott with beau Mick Jagger, Les Moonves, Teri Hatcher, Steve Tisch, Harvey Weinstein and Lauren Hutton.

Memorable Moments from the party: Heath and Joaquin swapping funny stories. Heidi Klum helping Seal puff on a cigar. Jennifer Lopez dancing with Marc Anthony. Keira acting like a couch potato. Guy Ritchie kissing Mickey Rourke. Mischa Barton and Nicole Richie huddling and giggling, perhaps planning practical jokes to play on Paris Hilton, who was most definitely not at the party.

Sandra Bullock hanging on hubby Jesse James. Sienna Miller wearing another Thomas Wylde frock and kissing Tom Ford. Jennifer Aniston’s date Vince Vaughn entertaining Will Ferrell. CNN's Anderson Cooper amusing Patricia Clarkson. Beck sticking close to fellow Scientologist Giovanni Ribisi. Maher, whose date was a foxy Arianna Huffington, sat briefly with Winona Ryder, maybe asking her to be on his show. Eve consoling Matt Dillon up close and personal. Naomi Watts sparkling in a bright turquoise frock that was way prettier than her boring beige Givenchy gown. And Angelica Huston catching up with...Jimmy Buffet?
Gosh, it's almost as good as being there, isn't it? Maybe even better.

Ah, the Oscars post parties. More like ugh.
It's been a veeeery long awards season and you'd think everyone would just go straight home after the Academy Awards, right? I mean, aren't these people a little sick of each other after all these months of award shows?

Apparently not.

Immediately after the ceremony, everyone who held — or had hoped to hold — a little gold naked man headed straight for the Governors Ball, an elegant Art Deco decorated affair in the Kodak Ballroom. Ever-gracious George Clooney was still acting like he was campaigning, talking to every single press person about his final win, followed around by his still-intrepid pub Stan Rosenfield and CAA head dude Bryan Lourd. Clooney even posed with rival hunk Matt Dillon, whom he beat out for the best supporting actor honors. Wow, guys. Talk about playing well with others. You’d think he might relax, take a week off, get away from it all at his Lake Como retreat. But he had no time to chill. Clooney was getting on a plane Monday to go back to the New York set of “Michael Clayton,” the dramatic thriller in which he plays a slick attorney whose defense of high profile creeps comes back to haunt him big time.

“Brokeback” couple Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams sat at one high-level table together, looking like they couldn’t wait to get out of their formal duds and get home to Matilda. Williams was even on the cell phone, perhaps talking with the baby sitter? Then she disappeared for a few minutes, leaving an exhausted Heath to sit back and chill by himself.

When Reese Witherspoon finally walked into the ball, dozens of cameras started madly flashing, as her hubby Ryan Phillippe walked behind her, carrying her train. Talk about a supportive husband. She ended up at the “Walk the Line” table, along with her parents, Joaquin Phoenix and his mom, and was happily dancing in her seat to the piped-in big band tunes and bopping her glass of bubbly up and down. Lauren Bacall was having as much trouble finding her table as she did with the TelePrompTer lines on the show.

“Tsotsi” Oscar winner Gavin Hood was chatting with his boyhood idol Steven Spielberg about having won an early filmmaking award or kudo that was apparently partly sponsored by Spielberg's Amblin Entertainment. Hood said that honor inspired him to take his film director career path. “And now you’ve got an Oscar,” Spielberg said, congratulating the South African winner of the best foreign language film.

After an hour, some great Wolfgang Puck food and celebratory bubbly, everyone started asking where everyone else was going next. “Are you going to Prince’s party?” “No, I’m going with the 'Crash' folks,” said Ludacris who actually ended up at the crowded Elton John AIDS fundraiser and the exclusive Vanity Fair bash in West Hollywood, Calif.

Don't these people ever sleep?